In the movie, “Up in the Air”, George Clooney’s character, Ryan Bingham instructs attendees at a seminar that they must rid themselves of their attachments in life. In it he states, “How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you're carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life... you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then you start adding larger stuff. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV... the backpack should be getting pretty heavy now….The slower we move the faster we die.”
In it, he also states that we shouldn’t keep photographs as they are for people with bad memories. To Bingham, you need to live your life without attachments, without things. He lives a solitary life that in the end, he finds disturbing. I cannot say I live that life. In fact, this last week really drove that home.
When we returned home from the cruise, I took it upon myself to attack the one major storage area in our house, one of our spare bedrooms. Unlike the Midwest, where everyone has a basement that houses all of the junk they have accumulated in their life, Arizona does not afford you that option. Every house that we have purchased afforded us a bigger basement and as a result more stuff. Although much was jettisoned during the move, much remains. That one bedroom had gotten so cluttered that we could barely open the door.
As a result, I decided to take the next several days to try to sort some things out. With some help from the rest of the family, that spare bedroom now can be entered without taking your life into your own hands. Yet, through that process, I went through 60 boxes of stuff. Some were easy and thus fast to replace. Others were not. They tended to be the ones with the most memories. The memories that Bingham looks at rather lightly.
I found everything under the sun. I found the little white hat with the small brim that I must have worn when I was two. It had “Johnnie” embroidered on the front and enough aging stains to make it look more brown than white. I found an old rattle from my childhood and pictures of my parents and grandparents from their wedding days. I found things that only hold special memories for me that when I’m gone will mean nothing to those left behind.
When the boys actually became involved, they went through their lifelong ritual of either playing with toys from their youth or trying on clothes ten years too small. They found things that they had either thought long lost or completely forgotten about. It was an opportunity to relive some of their youth. Yea, I know they are still young, but for some reason we all want to believe we are kids again.
After all of this reminiscing, Justin suggested that we watch old videos. Those that know me well, know that I have been a nut about taping the boys from day one. I probably have five hours of Justin eating baby food although that probably isn’t hard to believe if you look at him today. Julia gets to get in a shot every once in a while but that is usually to clean up a mess that the boys have created. If it wasn’t for my comments while doing the taping, you might not know that I even existed. Putting it simply, this taping is about the boys, an opportunity for them to relive their youth later in life.
What I have found, however, is that they like to watch them now, even while they are still young. It seems like we all want to go back and enjoy the good times of our lives no matter how young, old, rich or poor. Our lives are filled with a mish mosh of good and bad, joy and pain. We are drawn to the good times and want to relive them as we slosh through the times that may not be so joyful. Unlike Bingham, I’m glad I have brought along the weight of my past. It has made me what I am today.
We ended up watching about three hours of home videos last night including four of Jason’s birthdays, only one of which found him crying because he didn’t like the cake. I know that particular bit of information seems odd, but for some reason Jason found several cakes lacking over the years. Even though we have watched these videos numerous times, we laughed till we cried more than a few times
As an update to my ongoing battle, I had blood drawn at the Mayo this morning as I have once again put on my Dr. Kildare lab coat. In looking at my results over the past several months, it is obvious that the cancer began its comeback when I returned to work full time. After having two weeks off from work, I thought it might be a good idea to see how the cancer behaved while I just relaxed. Not sure what I am going to do if there is an improvement, but stay tuned.
In it, he also states that we shouldn’t keep photographs as they are for people with bad memories. To Bingham, you need to live your life without attachments, without things. He lives a solitary life that in the end, he finds disturbing. I cannot say I live that life. In fact, this last week really drove that home.
When we returned home from the cruise, I took it upon myself to attack the one major storage area in our house, one of our spare bedrooms. Unlike the Midwest, where everyone has a basement that houses all of the junk they have accumulated in their life, Arizona does not afford you that option. Every house that we have purchased afforded us a bigger basement and as a result more stuff. Although much was jettisoned during the move, much remains. That one bedroom had gotten so cluttered that we could barely open the door.
As a result, I decided to take the next several days to try to sort some things out. With some help from the rest of the family, that spare bedroom now can be entered without taking your life into your own hands. Yet, through that process, I went through 60 boxes of stuff. Some were easy and thus fast to replace. Others were not. They tended to be the ones with the most memories. The memories that Bingham looks at rather lightly.
I found everything under the sun. I found the little white hat with the small brim that I must have worn when I was two. It had “Johnnie” embroidered on the front and enough aging stains to make it look more brown than white. I found an old rattle from my childhood and pictures of my parents and grandparents from their wedding days. I found things that only hold special memories for me that when I’m gone will mean nothing to those left behind.
When the boys actually became involved, they went through their lifelong ritual of either playing with toys from their youth or trying on clothes ten years too small. They found things that they had either thought long lost or completely forgotten about. It was an opportunity to relive some of their youth. Yea, I know they are still young, but for some reason we all want to believe we are kids again.
After all of this reminiscing, Justin suggested that we watch old videos. Those that know me well, know that I have been a nut about taping the boys from day one. I probably have five hours of Justin eating baby food although that probably isn’t hard to believe if you look at him today. Julia gets to get in a shot every once in a while but that is usually to clean up a mess that the boys have created. If it wasn’t for my comments while doing the taping, you might not know that I even existed. Putting it simply, this taping is about the boys, an opportunity for them to relive their youth later in life.
What I have found, however, is that they like to watch them now, even while they are still young. It seems like we all want to go back and enjoy the good times of our lives no matter how young, old, rich or poor. Our lives are filled with a mish mosh of good and bad, joy and pain. We are drawn to the good times and want to relive them as we slosh through the times that may not be so joyful. Unlike Bingham, I’m glad I have brought along the weight of my past. It has made me what I am today.
We ended up watching about three hours of home videos last night including four of Jason’s birthdays, only one of which found him crying because he didn’t like the cake. I know that particular bit of information seems odd, but for some reason Jason found several cakes lacking over the years. Even though we have watched these videos numerous times, we laughed till we cried more than a few times
As an update to my ongoing battle, I had blood drawn at the Mayo this morning as I have once again put on my Dr. Kildare lab coat. In looking at my results over the past several months, it is obvious that the cancer began its comeback when I returned to work full time. After having two weeks off from work, I thought it might be a good idea to see how the cancer behaved while I just relaxed. Not sure what I am going to do if there is an improvement, but stay tuned.
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