Saturday, January 23, 2010

January 23, 2010 The Beast


It was sometime in the early 1960’s when my dad took Paul Decker and me to Coney Island in Cincinnati. It was the first time that I had ever been to an amusement park and it was still the day of buying tickets for each ride. It was that day that I rode my first roller coaster. It was love at first scream.

Coney had been around since the 1880’s and was on it’s last legs. In 1972, the company that owned Coney moved the rides away from the banks of the Ohio River to a community north east of Cincinnati called Mason. In the blink of an eye, the amusement park went from being old and crumbling to new and exciting. At one point, the company held 1,600 acres of land. Kings Island was now an adventure with many new rides on the way.

In 1979, the Beast was added. It was long, fast and scary. Roller coasters were still made out of wood at the time and 30 years later it is still the best way to make a coaster. When you get off of the Breast, your body hurts, but it is a good hurt. Since that time, I have ridden nearly 100 different coasters and the Beast is still my favorite.

The reason that I even bring this up is that I was reminded by my latest trip to the doctor that our lives can easily be compared to a roller coaster. It doesn’t matter what we do with our lives, it will be a series of ups and downs. The thing you have to learn is to not get caught up too much in either of those swings.

I’ll never forget the excitement of getting married in 1975, but I’ll also never forget the fact that my wife (ex-wife, not current) didn’t bother to come home the night of our second anniversary. The thrill of holding Jason for the first time was one of the highlights of my life, but having to rush him to Children’s Hospital 13 months later with a 105 degree temperature reminded me just how precious life is.

Shortly before I graduated from college, I was still looking for a job. I was lucky enough to get an interview with Timken, a roller bearing company located in Columbus. Getting a job was extremely hard in 1975 and just getting the interview was exciting. That same day, my mother had a good section of her lung removed in hopes of stopping her cancer. A cancer that took her life four months later.

I was offered a job that day which changed my life forever. If I hadn’t been hired by Timken, I might have ended up managing a McDonalds. When I received the official offer letter, I about fell over. It was 30% more than I had anticipated. Indeed my life had changed, I was overjoyed. What I didn’t know was that the three years that I worked in that filthy, fume infested plant might eventually be the cause of my multiple myeloma.

No one knows unequivocally what causes multiple myeloma, but the belief is that environment has a great deal to do with its beginning and it may be 20 to 30 years before it manifests. Due to the fact that I never really had any exposure to any other harmful agents leads me to believe that my cancer might have been started 35 years ago just out of college.

It was a year ago today that my latest adventure started. It has been a year of ups and downs. A year of self discovery. That learning has not stopped as I found out two days ago when I visited Dr. Mikhael for my latest check-up.

If you remember, I was only going to have my blood tested every other month to see how the cancer was progressing. I was to go in November and then again in January. My cancer number increased in November but that was not totally unexpected as the results likely will have peaks and valleys since I did not have a full remission.

Because my creatinine number was up significantly in November, I was scheduled for another blood test in December. The kidneys had corrected themselves and creatinine was back down, but the cancer number was again up and up much faster than expected. I was nearly to the point of needing more chemotherapy. Dr. Mikhael even mentioned getting another bone marrow biopsy (not exactly high on my list of things to do.)

I was crestfallen. The fact that my cancer was advancing quickly was devastating to me. The transplant had failed. The up that I had felt just three months before was gone, replaced with a terrible feeling of doom. I had forgotten that life is filled with ups and downs and I shouldn’t get too attached to either.

After two weeks off from work, I insisted on another test and received some encouraging results as the cancer number had fallen slightly. Even though it was a small change, it was a positive one. Any good news when you have cancer is great news. The next test scheduled for January 18th was going to be huge. Good results and I breathe easy for a while. Bad results and it is chemo time.

When Dr. Mikhael told me that my number had dropped down to the low 7’s from the 9’s the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders. My body was again beating the disease. I was winning. Another time for joy. Oddly, if my kidneys had not acted up in November, I would not have had the December test and would not have worried needlessly. Funny how the ups and downs of a roller coaster can jerk you around.

What I have taken from all of this is to become less worried about the numbers each month and worry about just living. Too often we all get tied to the latest event in our life and not looking toward the future. We are too worried about the work associated with moving up the roller coaster and not thinking enough about the thrill of the dive. Enjoy your roller coaster life. Don’t spend too much time dwelling with the pitfalls and enjoy the thrill of the ride.

1 comment:

  1. Julia Churan - Wife #2January 24, 2010 at 11:35 PM

    When John talks about the joy of marrying in 1975 and his wife not coming home on their 2nd anniversary...keep in mind that this wife was only 10 years old at the time and living the simple life of a 4th grader in Chattanooga, Ohio. The wife who didn't come home was Wife #1.

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