When we made the decision to move from Ohio to Arizona there were a number of issues that were considered. Some were easy, some were not. The opportunity to take a new and challenging job was at the forefront of the easy ones. I was miserable in my old job and I was starting to bring it home. Even the boys noticed a change in me. At the time, I thought that if I stayed, it might kill me in the end. Little did I know that cancer might have already been in me when I left.
On the other side of the argument to leave was what we would be leaving behind. Justin would be giving up his senior year in high school. This is the part that I will second guess for the rest of my life. We moved to Powell with the intension of staying there until the boys graduated from high school. Because of my need for change, I asked a lot of Justin. I hope he understands how much I appreciate what he did.
For Jason the move was easy. Yes, he was moving away from all of his friends, but he looked at it as an adventure. He couldn’t wait to get out to Arizona. It meant great weather and more baseball. He came out earlier than Julia and Justin just so he could be networked by the time summer came.
As tough as the move was for Justin, it was even tougher for Julia despite the fact she has never said a word. Julia has always been very close to her family and I know the move was hard on her. I guess that is what love and marriage is all about.
The reason that I am bringing this up is that Julia has gone back to Ohio to spend some time with her family and in particular with her mother, Fran. Fran and I have shared the burden of cancer for almost the exact same time period as she found out just days after I did. We have always been close, but I think this has drawn us even closer.
Fran and I have always referred to ourselves as the “outlaws.” It seemed like it was us verses the rest of the family, not in a bad way, but in the way that we were put together. The Millers are a great group, but they all seem to have the same tendencies. Julia, her dad, her brother and grandparents share a number of the same qualities.
They are all very methodical about how they run their lives. They study everything before they make a decision. Fran and I tend to move without thinking sometimes. The rest of the Millers tend to take their time and enjoy smelling the roses. Fran and I take a quick look and then move on to the next flower. We are more worried about getting there on time than what happens when we get there.
I’ll never forget the first time that I visited Rockford. Julia and I had only been dating for a short time, but she felt it was time to show me off. There was inherent danger in this because I did not fit the Miller mold. I was divorced, old, Catholic and worst of all, Republican. Yet despite all of this, Fran made the house look like the President was coming.
That was just the start of it. I would come back from every visit weighing five pounds more than when I got there. The food was always great and there was plenty of it. I have always kidded Fran about being my favorite Mother-in-law, but the cooking clinched that title long before Julia and I were married. My ex-Mother-in-law wasn’t a bad cook, but I would always have to eat rhubarb pie every time I visited. Ugh.
Christmas always took Fran and I to a new level of togetherness. The only real present that I cared about was the one Fran would give me and the present that I took the most time getting was the one I gave her.
It all started pretty innocently when I was presented a huge lump of coal. Not to be outdone, I spent the next 364 days plotting how to get her back. I had some good ones over the years including a book on Monica Lewinsky(Bill Clinton was always her favorite.) Despite all of that, she always seemed to outdo me. My favorite was the used toupee. She always enjoyed the hair thing as I also received a few chia pets over the years.
Fran and I have always had each other’s back when it came to disagreements within the family. It was the Millers against the outlaws. We now have taken on cancer together. We talk more than ever before and prop each other up when we need it the most. We have even used the same chemotherapy. We have made a pact that we are not going to give up on living. I’m just glad I have a fellow “outlaw” to keep me going when the time get rough.
Make sure you keep Fran in your thoughts and prayers as we both try to do the impossible.
On the other side of the argument to leave was what we would be leaving behind. Justin would be giving up his senior year in high school. This is the part that I will second guess for the rest of my life. We moved to Powell with the intension of staying there until the boys graduated from high school. Because of my need for change, I asked a lot of Justin. I hope he understands how much I appreciate what he did.
For Jason the move was easy. Yes, he was moving away from all of his friends, but he looked at it as an adventure. He couldn’t wait to get out to Arizona. It meant great weather and more baseball. He came out earlier than Julia and Justin just so he could be networked by the time summer came.
As tough as the move was for Justin, it was even tougher for Julia despite the fact she has never said a word. Julia has always been very close to her family and I know the move was hard on her. I guess that is what love and marriage is all about.
The reason that I am bringing this up is that Julia has gone back to Ohio to spend some time with her family and in particular with her mother, Fran. Fran and I have shared the burden of cancer for almost the exact same time period as she found out just days after I did. We have always been close, but I think this has drawn us even closer.
Fran and I have always referred to ourselves as the “outlaws.” It seemed like it was us verses the rest of the family, not in a bad way, but in the way that we were put together. The Millers are a great group, but they all seem to have the same tendencies. Julia, her dad, her brother and grandparents share a number of the same qualities.
They are all very methodical about how they run their lives. They study everything before they make a decision. Fran and I tend to move without thinking sometimes. The rest of the Millers tend to take their time and enjoy smelling the roses. Fran and I take a quick look and then move on to the next flower. We are more worried about getting there on time than what happens when we get there.
I’ll never forget the first time that I visited Rockford. Julia and I had only been dating for a short time, but she felt it was time to show me off. There was inherent danger in this because I did not fit the Miller mold. I was divorced, old, Catholic and worst of all, Republican. Yet despite all of this, Fran made the house look like the President was coming.
That was just the start of it. I would come back from every visit weighing five pounds more than when I got there. The food was always great and there was plenty of it. I have always kidded Fran about being my favorite Mother-in-law, but the cooking clinched that title long before Julia and I were married. My ex-Mother-in-law wasn’t a bad cook, but I would always have to eat rhubarb pie every time I visited. Ugh.
Christmas always took Fran and I to a new level of togetherness. The only real present that I cared about was the one Fran would give me and the present that I took the most time getting was the one I gave her.
It all started pretty innocently when I was presented a huge lump of coal. Not to be outdone, I spent the next 364 days plotting how to get her back. I had some good ones over the years including a book on Monica Lewinsky(Bill Clinton was always her favorite.) Despite all of that, she always seemed to outdo me. My favorite was the used toupee. She always enjoyed the hair thing as I also received a few chia pets over the years.
Fran and I have always had each other’s back when it came to disagreements within the family. It was the Millers against the outlaws. We now have taken on cancer together. We talk more than ever before and prop each other up when we need it the most. We have even used the same chemotherapy. We have made a pact that we are not going to give up on living. I’m just glad I have a fellow “outlaw” to keep me going when the time get rough.
Make sure you keep Fran in your thoughts and prayers as we both try to do the impossible.
John - I will keep both you and Fran in my prayers. It is good to know that you both have such wonderful, loving support.
ReplyDeleteMichelle Ingal
She's an awesome lady and you, John, are OK too. Chris and I are praying for you both.
ReplyDeleteJohn, Thanks for sharing your thoughts about Fran. She is so dear to our family as she is yours. You both are strong and determined even if you're the "outlaws". Our prayers are with you both.
ReplyDelete