January 11, 2013 - Less is More

At a very early age we learn that we want more. Usually it doesn’t matter what it is, unless it is homework or chores around the house. When Justin was very young, I would grab him by his hands and swing him around like a ride at an amusement park. When my arms were ready to give out and I would set him down, he had just one comment that he would make through his giggles, “Again!”

When a child goes out for Halloween, he wants more candy. It doesn’t matter how much he has, he wants more. When Christmas comes around, it doesn’t matter what is under the tree, there is a glance around the room for one more present when the frenzy to open presents finally stops. When the teenage girl looks in her closet for shoes, there never seems to be enough.

The college freshman looks around his Psychology 101 class and wonders why there aren’t more pretty girls. When he shows up for his first frat party, he wonders why there isn’t more beer. As soon as you get married, you look at your checking account and wonder why there isn’t more money. When you have your first child, you look around the house and want more space.

When you get your first big promotion, you want a bigger office although you know deep down inside that you won’t do a better job with one. When you go on your first cruise, you look at the boat that is docked next to yours at the first port and wish you were leaving on it since it is bigger and must be more fun. When we buy our first SUV, we look at the inside room instead of the price tag and MPG.

As we age, it tends to slow down but never really stops. We do not wonder that we will have enough money to survive when we retire, but how nice we can live when we get to that point. Even after we get to the point of living in a retirement community, it is how many hours we can nap during the day.

We are born wanting more and it usually never stops. When Maria, or first au pair, came to the United States to watch the boys, she was amazed at how big everything was. She could not believe how much we decorated our homes for Christmas. The size of our grocery stores was overwhelming and we have a full aisle of cereal choices rather than a handful. It didn’t matter what it was, it was huge. I had never really thought about it, but she was right.

When I was growing up, my parents owned a grocery store. It wasn’t anything special, but people from the neighborhood would do their shopping there and it had just about everything they needed. Today, however, it would fit inside the produce department at Walmart. You couldn’t buy an oil filter for your car, but you could buy everything you needed to make a meal. Those stores no longer exist. If it isn’t big and offer us everything under the sun, we won’t go there.

In our minds, more is always better. If we don’t have multiple selections of what we need we are disappointed. If we don’t have something more than our neighbor, we wonder what it wrong with our life. We have become spoiled. It isn’t good enough to hit a home run, we need to hit it father than anyone else. Maybe we need to just enjoy what we have and not how big it is. It would certainly make life simpler.

Three months ago I convinced Dr. Mikhael to let me go from receiving chemotherapy every two weeks to every three weeks. In the case of chemotherapy, cavities, bills and wives, more is not better. In this particular case, less was just as good. When I received my results just before the new year, I could not have been more pleased. It was probably the best overall results that I have received. My kidneys were hanging in the with a 1.9 creatinine (which is as good as I ever get), all of my blood counts (red, white and platelets) were all in the normal range and my cancer counts were the lowest they have ever been. If a doctor looked at my results and didn’t know what was wrong with me, he would have no idea that I have cancer. I will not see Dr. Mikhael for three months which is s first.

We go through life always wanting more instead of appreciating what we have. We too often look past the journey and only worry about the result. Too often getting that next big raise or promotion or new car or house consumes us. We need to learn to make the most of who we are and what we have. That doesn’t mean that you cannot strive to be better and have more, it just means that it should not be all encompassing. I made a promise to myself that I would not wish my life away at the beginning of 2012. No more wishing it was 5 o’clock or Friday or time for vacation. I enjoyed what I had and who I was with. In the end, we are not defined by what we have but what we accomplished. Make sure you don’t waste time worrying about that next big thing, just enjoy your life’s journey.