January 31, 2012 -- Be Gone January, Be Gone

When I was young, it was easy to pick out my favorite month of the year. Certainly December was extremely important to me highlighted by Christmas and the ensuing presents and 10 days away from school. The three months of summer were also very high on my list with major league baseball in full swing and, again, the ability to not worry about school. October was great because of all of the candy that I would be able to collect at Halloween (and I’m talking full size bars.) But all of those fell by the wayside because January was easily number one on my list.

For most, January was one of the more drab months of the year. Other than New Year’s Day, there were no days off from school or work. The weather in a good part of the country certainly leaves a little to be desired, especially in Ohio where I’m not sure anyone has even seen the sun during that month. There was college football on January 1, but that was the end of it until the fall. All that has now changed, but back then January 1st was the climax. Even pro football was done until they started the Super Bowl and as a Cleveland Browns fan, it still doesn’t matter what month they play that thing.

Despite all of these negatives the fact that my birthday was right in the middle of the month easily put this month ahead of all the rest. I would begin counting down the days on December 26th. January 16th was my day and no one else’s. There was just something special about that day for me. January 16th is so unspecial to the rest of the world that it was proclaimed “National Nothing Day” back in 1973. From the Hallmark site,” This un-event, first observed in 1973, was created by newspaperman Harold Pullman Coffin ‘to provide Americans with one national day when they can just sit without celebrating, observing, or honoring anything.’”

Obviously most think their day is special, but to me it was everything. It wasn’t like my parents ever did anything special. I would never have a party with kids from my school but it didn’t matter, it wasn’t important. We didn’t have to go out to eat or see a movie or anything. It was still my day.

I didn’t even care that much about presents. I would get some from my parents and relatives would send me five dollar bills that I would save up to buy something cool from Jandy’s Toy Store on Main Street, but even that wasn’t all that big of a deal. I would get my favorite cake and get to blow out the candles, which was fun, but it was just a signal that it was my day.

I still feel more important on January 16th but after surviving 59 of those anniversaries of my birth, I now don’t get quite as excited and I even hide the fact at work so they don’t decorate my office with who knows what. I’m still pulling Silly String and confetti from my drawers from two years ago. Yet despite my reluctance to share my day with others, it still means a lot to me. It still is my day. I still feel special that day, even if I don’t broadcast it like I did 50 years earlier.

It does seem that I am starting to feel differently about January as a whole though. It was three years ago that I found out that I had Multiple Myeloma. It was last year that it became apparent that the stem cell transplant had run its course and I would have to restart chemo sometime soon. Then last week, I had a fainting spell at work that brought six EMS guys to the office and a trip to the Emergency Room. After a barrage of test showed nothing including the CAT scan of my brain, they let me go home. No real cause and no concern from that, but it did make me feel helpless for a bit.

Then last week, I got the results of my last blood test. As you know, the Revlimd has been rather inconsistent in its effectiveness and there was a good chance that January would be my last month of usage if it didn’t show some resiliency. In my own mind I was prepared for news that would lead me to the next suite of chemotherapy. What I wasn’t prepared for was the level of the cancer growth. My fear with continuing the Revlimid was that when it did go south, the MM would have a hey day. Well, it seems that the Revlimid not only took a vacation, it threw a little gasoline on the fire.

The biggest increase that I have ever had from one moth to the next was a jump of about 5 which has happened a couple times recently. This time it jumped from 20 to 46 with the 46 being the second highest I have ever had only falling behind the mid 60’s that I had when it was initially discovered. I was a little stunned and disappointed but certainly not ready to throw up any white flags. Poor Justin decided to make this his first visit to see my doctor with Julia and me and he had to hear this.

Although on the surface, this sounds rather ominous, it really isn’t much different than what happened during the six weeks that I was off chemo before the transplant when it jumped from 13 to 41. The fact that I have a good deal of confidence in the next chemo cocktail has kept me from jumping off any nearby bridges.

My next little adventure will include three drugs, Cytoxan, Velcade and dexamethasone. The last two are familiar as I have used them both but the Cytoxan is a new animal to me. It has some interesting potential side effects that may or may not come into play: low blood counts, hair loss (I’ve been working on that for a couple decades so no big deal), nausea and vomiting (usually with larger doses), poor appetite (Guess I can back off my diet), loss of fertility (I won’t even go there) and discoloration of the skin or nails. Pretty typical stuff, not all of which is guaranteed.

The Velcade will be taken subcutaneously (just under the skin in the stomach) while the other two will be in pill form. They will all be done once per week on the same day at different times of the day. This will be ongoing with no breaks although we might be able to back off on the Velcade if good we get good results. In some studies, 90% of those taking this cocktail have seen positive results.

Just another bump in the road as we go through this process. Disappointing, but I still feel good and plan to attack this like I have from day one. Keep the prayers and thoughts coming, they are certainly appreciated.