December 31, 2009 Cruising

The year 2009 has been an interesting one to say the least. It has been one that has made me rethink a number of things, but one of things that hasn’t changed is my excitement concerning vacations.

Since I moved to Arizona in February 2008, the family has not been able to take what I would call a real vacation. We certainly have traveled including two baseball tournaments in California and several trips back home including one together, but we never had the opportunity to travel to a vacation destination.

Before he graduated from high school, we asked Justin what he would like as a graduation present and he said that he would like to go on a cruise. We had gone on three cruises as a family and it had become a family favorite vacation. Certainly Orlando has been our number one vacation spot over the years, but cruising had always been something special.

Our first cruise was as much of an accident as anything. Shortly after 9/11 no one wanted to fly and as a result, the vacation industry was having a hard time. We had already made plans to travel to Fort Lauderdale and had our plane tickets and accommodations already lined up when the attack occurred and we felt confident that it was safe again to fly.

Just a couple weeks before we were to leave, Julia received one of those gazillion emails that we seem to get regularly now that talked about unbelievable cruise prices. It described a five day cruise that was leaving from Fort Lauderdale that practically paid you to be a part of. Julia and I talked about it and bit. We didn’t tell the boys and thought we would surprise them.

After we landed, we told the boys that the resort where we would be staying required a water taxi so we had to go to the pier. They were just 10 and eight at the time so they still operated under the belief that what ever we said was gospel. For some reason, that is no longer the case, but that is a whole ’nuther story.

While at the port, we found our cruise ship and asked the boys if they would like to see what one was like. They responded with a yes, so the ruse was on. We went through the normal check in procedure telling the boys this was necessary just to see the ship. We then went to our rooms and asked them if they thought this was cool. Just looking at their eyes told us their answer. We then asked if they would like to stay and it was a resounding yes.

After the first evening of having to eat at the fine dining room with mom and dad, we told them about room service and we never ate dinner with them again. Eating steak and french fries every night in your room while watching cartoons easily topped eating with mom and dad. Thus started the family’s love of cruising.

We were ready to schedule a cruse this last June just after Justin’s graduation when my bombshell hit. In the end, I got to cruise the Mayo Clinic receiving my stem cell transplant instead of cruising the Mexican Riviera. Everyone was understanding, but Julia and I still felt the need to reward Justin with a cruise at some point. Christmas week became the best week to travel because of the various school and sports calendars what we had to mesh.

It was different not being either at home or with family at Christmas, but we made it work. We all ended up having a great time and we all made some great new friends, one of which I saw don his wife’s bra, his daughter’s earrings and Julia’s lipstick and high heels just to win a point in a late night scavenger hunt that we played in one of the ship’s lounges. To answer the obvious question, no, he had not been drinking heavily.

One of the nice things about a cruise is that it truly takes you away from the real world. No emails, texts or telephone calls to distract you from pure relaxation. I have fallen into the trap of never leaving my laptop at home when on vacation. I use the excuse that I will have too many emails to work through when I get back to work. I would receive 100 emails a day in my old job and would waste a day and a half getting caught up when I got back. As a result, even I bought into the theory.

As most of you know, I am resoundingly cheap and there is no way that I am going to spend a million dollars connecting into the internet while on the boat. So, the cruise becomes a safe haven from the outside world. One that I really needed this time.

If you remember, after my 100 day check-up, I walked away with the belief that I no longer had cancer, even though I knew it was still in my bloodstream. It was gone from my consciousness. But after my last two blood tests showing increase activity, that feeling of freedom was gone. The feeling of normalcy was gone.

Yet, somehow, getting on board allowed me to put all of that side and just enjoy life. There is something about the vastness of the ocean and its many creatures that always slaps me in the face with the reality that there must be a God. There is just no way that all of this happened by coincidence.

One of my last discussions with Terry before he died was about the existence of God. He was a non believer and I did my best to give the other viewpoint, but as he lay on his death bed, he was convinced that when he took is last breath, it would be the end. It was hard for me to swallow, but I wasn’t about to have my last hours with him involve a bitter argument around something I could not prove.

One of my biggest aids in this cancer struggle is my belief that there is more to life that what we see. To know that I might be getting closer to the end than I would like to think is hard enough, but I can’t imagine what it would be like without the knowledge that there is more than what we can touch and there is a greater force that might give me a hand to get through this.

It’s funny, you get on a cruise to be able to eat 27 meals a day, but you can end up with so much more. I suggest giving it a try and maybe you might walk away with a little more than an additional five pounds.

Have a safe and happy New Year, everyone!

December 17, 2009 State Champs!

Last Saturday I attended my first state championship game in just under 40 years. It was 1970 and I was a junior at an all boys Catholic high school. There were only two divisions for all sports at the time and they didn’t even have a football playoff. We were a big school at the time with about 1,200 students which would be the equivalent of a 2,400 co-ed school. Sports were special at Chaminade. We would pack the stands in football at whatever stadium we played since we didn’t have a home field and the gym was wall to wall people where ever we played basketball.

Going to a game was a religious experience. Unlike today in that the weekly football game is no more than a social gathering, we actually paid attention to what was happening on the field or court. When we cheered it had a definite lower, more bass like tone due to the heavy male component of the crowd. Certainly girls attended from our sister schools, but they were in the minority. Maybe that was why it wasn’t a social event.

Chaminade had won the state in basketball in 1966 and was to duplicate the feat that year. We played several games during the season at UD Arena as crowds of 7,000 or 8,000 would make their way to a game. We played Roth high school also from Dayton twice that year and both were epic battles. They proved to be the only competition that we experienced as the final two games of the tournament were 20+ point wins. When we beat Roth to win the district, we knew the rest would be easy.

The reason that I bring all of this up is that when I went to see Jason’s football team win the state 35-0 last Saturday, there wasn’t nearly the euphoria demonstrated by the students that we had felt. Winning state championships at Hamilton is a normal occurrence. It brings to mind the day that we visited the high school when we were deciding which school the boys would attend. One of the administrators, while showing us around the school, mentioned that they had finished the season as runner-up in football which was a complete disappointment. Wow, I thought.

It seems that Hamilton has won five of the last seven state football championships and will finish either second or third nationally in the ESPN high school ranking. They have won three baseball championships in the same seven years. They have had the best golfer in the state the last three years, all different young men. It is truly a sports factory. Their academics aren’t being left behind, as they have been ranked the top high school in the state.

Since Jason moved out here, he has witnessed three championships, one in baseball and two in football, one while being part of the team. Yet, I don’t sense the same level of excitement that I felt. Julia and I ran into other students after the game Saturday and it was more business as usual than bravado. This begs the question, “Can too much success dull the enjoyment?”

This all brings me to my success with regard to my treatment. I am approaching every blood test as if it were a game in the 27-0 1970 season. The test that I took about a month ago was certainly no blowout victory. Although there was some positive information, there was also the scary. Because this disease does a job on your organs which is eventually how it wins, I am super sensitive to anything that leads me to believe one of these irreplaceable organs may be losing the battle.

When I was told that my creatinine had risen from 2.2 to 2.8, I became extremely apprehensive. Dr. Mikhail was very reassuring with his normal statement that I shouldn’t get too worried about one point in time but to be more focused on trends. Easy for him to say, I’m the one headed for dialysis. Don’t talk to me about a kidney transplant. The chance of a cancer patient getting an organ transplant is about as good as Roseanne Barr being asked to sing the National Anthem again.

Waiting the 3+ weeks for my next test seemed to take forever. I had contacted my nephrologist who put me on a blood pressure medicine as my blood pressure has gone through the roof since returning to work full time. I think I need hazardous duty pay. The thought was that the high blood pressure was causing the kidney to be less effective.
I took the test first thing on Monday morning and the waiting was driving me nuts. Luckily I have a connection or two and I was able to get the creatinine reading that afternoon. The fact that it came in at 2.2 was a huge relief. My major concern had shifted from the cancer to my kidney function. That little number was a major victory for me. It was like the state championship all over again.

The numbers on the cancer itself are a little less exciting. My light chains moved up again to 9.24. This is now higher than the two month post transplant amount. However, the amount of protein in my urine is almost down to normal at .109 grams with normal being as high as .102. Because my light chains are moving in the wrong direction, I will have to undergo another blood test and 24 hour urine sample next month. If the trend continues, it looks like I will have to start up some type of maintenance drug. Hopefully the last couple of tests are not indicative of the future. I might have to ask for a refund on my transplant.

One thing I have learned with multiple myeloma, you appreciate every victory. State Championships can come every day and you still reach a state of euphoria with each and every bit of good news. This is the one place where just staying the same is like reaching the peak of Mt. Everest. I just wonder when they are going to let me hold the Championship trophy.