Monday, December 5, 2011

December 5, 2011 -- Learning from the Young


The hour trip home seemed like five. The Hamilton Huskies, in search of their 54th consecutive victory and fourth straight AZ State Championship had just had their heads handed to them. After beating Desert Vista 35-10 earlier in the season, they had just lost 45-19. As we sat in the stands, we could not believe what was happening. The top rated defense in the country (per USA Today) had not forced Desert Vista to punt the ball even once. This had to be a nightmare. When was I going to wake up?

From the very beginning of the season, the class of 2012 at Hamilton had been viewed with a jaundiced eye. There were no real superstars although there will be a few headed to BCS conferences. The entire team had been described as “not one of Hamilton’s best.” Translated, that meant that they might be good, but they might be beatable which for Hamilton is a lot to say.

Then they started winning games. The first game was ugly, but it became number 41 in a row. As parents, we would talk before and after games about “the streak.” We did not want our boys to be the ones to stop it. It became more important than anything. We worried more about the streak than the state championship. They just had to keep it going so they wouldn’t be labeled as the team that ended the streak.

The wins kept coming and the team escaped a bullet when Chandler fumbled four times in the fourth quarter and win number 46 was assured with a 28-21 come from behind victory. They breezed through the rest of the regular season and the first three rounds of the playoffs and stood just one win away from being able to take a breath and not worry about the streak.

As a parent, I found myself not enjoying the season because of the expectations. At Hamilton, you are supposed to win and win big. If we just win by three touchdowns, we would talk after that game that they did not play very well. It was easy to get caught up in that expectation.

Understand that this is not something brought on by the coaches or the administration. They want to win, but they always treated the boys the right way. Did they yell and scream? Sure, but certainly no more than a parent would when their child did something inappropriate. They are good coaches and treat the boys well. No, this comes from the stands and the one million articles in the paper that talk about the “longest streak in the nation.”

When a student goes to Hamilton (there is open enrollment in Chandler, so there is choice involved) and they want to play football, he has to understand that he might never see the field. The likelihood is that if he ever starts it will be as a senior. The senior year is everything. If you succeed or fail your senior year is all that really matters. Jason has a state championship ring from last year, but getting one as a senior is what really mattered. As a senior, you feel real ownership. It is your championship. The fact that the class of 2012 did not accomplish that goal is what was eating at me on that long drive home. How would Jason handle the loss?

Julia and I talked about it most of the way home that day. How would we talk to Jason? What would we say? How could we console him after the loss? We came up with an approach and waited for him to get home. We knew he would be suffering.

Fifteen minutes after we got home, we received our first communication from Jason on the bus after the drubbing in the form of a text. It simple stated, “I’m starving.” About 30 minutes after we ate the doorbell rang and there was one of his teammates coming to "hang." Soon another ring and a couple more. Before we knew it, the guys were running up the stairs and off to another teammates house to meet more guys.

At that point, we knew he would be OK. It might be hard, but the fact that he had already moved on to food and friends was a good thing. Maybe, just maybe, the loss was going to be harder on the parents (or more specifically, me) than it would on Jason. Maybe he was the mature one here.

In the days that followed, we talk about the loss with Jason. He was disappointed, but it was not the end of the world for him. He had a surgery to get through and the rest of his senior year. Football was not his life, just a piece of it. He finished his varsity career 33-1. It would not be easy to forget the “and 1” but it would not define him. It seems I have a lot to learn.


It is always more fun talking about football that my cancer, but I did get some good news from Dr. Mikhael last week. It seems that the increase in the dosage of Revlimid is working. As a result, the damage done the previous month had been reversed and I’m back down to where I was after the second month at 16.9. We will continue with the 15 mg. daily for the next month and see what happens. Hopefully, we will see a different trend than we did with the 10 mg. dosage and the improvement will continue. I have been feeling great the last two weeks without the down days that I had been seeing. I will know more just before Christmas. We’ll see if Santa is good to me or not!